“Don’t keep staring at the way things are. It keeps you stuck. Look for how they can become. It moves you forwards.” – Jerry Corstens

Let’s talk about getting unstuck. You know that feeling, right? Like you’re wading through thick mud, every step a struggle? Often, that heavy feeling comes from one simple, yet powerful, habit: staring at the way things are.

Think about it. Maybe your job feels like a dead end. Maybe your relationship is going through a rough patch. Maybe you’re just feeling generally blah and unmotivated. What do we tend to do? We replay the same frustrating scenarios in our heads. We list all the reasons why things are difficult, unfair, or just plain bad. We focus so intently on the current reality that it becomes our entire landscape.

And here’s the tough truth: staring at the way things are keeps you stuck. It’s like driving while only looking in the rearview mirror. You’re constantly focused on where you’ve been, on the problems that exist right now, and you completely lose sight of where you could be going. This kind of focus breeds negativity, reinforces limitations, and ultimately paralyzes you. You get so caught up in the “this is how it is” mentality that you can’t even imagine things being different.

But there’s a powerful antidote to this stagnation: look for how they can become. This isn’t about ignoring the present. It’s about acknowledging it, understanding it, and then actively shifting your gaze towards potential. It’s about asking yourself: “Okay, this is where I am. But where could I be? What are the possibilities?”

This shift in perspective is like flipping a switch. Instead of being weighed down by the current situation, you start to see glimmers of hope, opportunities for growth, and pathways forward. When you focus on how things can become, you engage your creativity, your problem-solving skills, and your inner drive.

If your job feels like a dead end, instead of just dwelling on how much you dislike it, you start thinking: “What skills could I develop to move into a different role? What other departments might have opportunities? What kind of work would truly excite me?”

If your relationship is struggling, instead of just replaying arguments, you start thinking: “What steps can we take to communicate better? What kind of shared experiences could bring us closer? What are the underlying needs that aren’t being met?”

If you’re feeling unmotivated, instead of just beating yourself up about it, you start thinking: “What small steps can I take today to feel a little more energized? What are my passions that I’ve been neglecting? What kind of environment would inspire me?”

Looking for how things can become moves you forwards. It injects a sense of agency and possibility into your life. It transforms you from a passive observer of your circumstances into an active participant in shaping your future. It fuels motivation, sparks innovation, and ultimately leads to positive change.

So, the next time you find yourself stuck, caught in the loop of “this is how it is,” gently redirect your focus. Instead of staring at the wall, start looking for the door. Ask yourself, “What’s the next step? What’s a possible improvement? What could this look like if things were better?”

It might feel uncomfortable at first. It might require you to step outside your comfort zone and challenge your assumptions. But trust me, the energy you gain from focusing on potential far outweighs the inertia of staying stuck.

Stop dwelling on the limitations of today and start exploring the possibilities of tomorrow. The path forward isn’t always clear, but the act of looking for it is the first and most crucial step in moving towards a brighter future. You’ve got this. Now go out there and start looking.

“Sometimes what you need is to avoid what you want.” – Author Unknown

Now, on the surface, this might sound a little backward, right? We spend so much time chasing after what we think we want – that new phone, that perfect relationship, that instant feeling of happiness. But let’s dig a little deeper.

Think of it like this: Imagine you’re on a diet and you really, really want that big slice of pizza. Your taste buds are screaming for it! But what you need to reach your goal of feeling healthier and stronger is to avoid that immediate craving. That pizza might give you a few minutes of pleasure, but it could set you back in the long run.

Oftentimes, the things that feel good in the short term aren’t actually what’s best for us in the long run. Our immediate desires can sometimes lead us away from what we truly need for our growth, well-being, and overall happiness.

It’s about having the self-awareness to recognize when a fleeting desire might actually be a roadblock to something more important. It’s about having the discipline to say “no” to the tempting thing now, so you can say “yes” to something better later.

Here are a few ways this idea might show up in your life:

• Staying focused on your studies instead of going to that party: You want to have fun with your friends, but you need to ace that test to reach your academic goals.
• Saving money instead of buying the latest gadget: You want the cool new tech, but you need financial security for your future.
• Taking a break and resting instead of pushing yourself to keep working: You want to get everything done right now, but you need to avoid burnout and take care of your mental and physical health.
• Ending a toxic friendship even though you enjoy the drama: You want the excitement, but you need positive and supportive relationships in your life.

So, the next time you find yourself really wanting something, take a moment to pause and ask yourself: Is this what I truly need, or is it something I just desire in this moment? Sometimes, the bravest and most beneficial thing you can do for yourself is to step away from what your immediate impulses are telling you to grab.

It’s not about denying yourself everything, but about being wise and understanding that sometimes, the path to true fulfillment involves choosing what you need over what you simply want right now. It’s a powerful lesson in self-control and long-term thinking. Keep this in mind, my friends, and you’ll be amazed at the positive changes you can create in your life.

“One of the best and most difficult lessons you can learn in life is that no one owes you anything and you owe yourself everything.” – Author Unknown

Here’s a simple truth: you can’t expect other people to fix your life or give you what you want—that’s on you. It’s tough to accept because we often hope others will help us out, but the big lesson is that you’re the one responsible for your own happiness and success. You owe it to yourself to make things happen, not wait for someone else to do it for you.

This can be a tough pill to swallow. We sometimes feel like we’re entitled to certain things, maybe because of our upbringing, our hard work, or just because we see others getting them. But the truth is, everyone is on their own journey, dealing with their own stuff. Expecting others to constantly provide for you or make your life easier can lead to disappointment and resentment.

You owe it to yourself to work towards your goals, to take care of your well-being, and to create the life you want.

This isn’t about pressure; it’s about ownership. It’s about recognizing that you have the power to make choices and take actions that shape your future. Again, you owe it to yourself to learn, grow, and strive for what makes you happy and fulfilled. Go out there and make it happen!

“Sometimes we spend so much time wishing for better, that we fail to be thankful for the now.” – Just a Dreamer

The Wisdom of Embracing “Now” While Dreaming of “Better”

Many of us fall into the trap of focusing so intensely on what could be that we become blind to the gifts right in front of us. When we constantly yearn for the next achievement, the next purchase, or the next life milestone, we create a pattern that steals our present joy.

Think about this: Have you ever reached a goal you desperately wanted, only to immediately shift your attention to something else? This is what psychologists call the “hedonic treadmill” – we adapt quickly to new circumstances and return to our happiness baseline, always needing the next thing to chase.

The real paradox is that gratitude for your current situation doesn’t mean abandoning your dreams. In fact, appreciating what you have creates a foundation of contentment that actually makes achieving future goals more meaningful. When we’re constantly dissatisfied, we bring that same dissatisfaction with us to each new accomplishment.

Here’s a practice I’ve found transformative: Each morning, before checking your phone or jumping into your to-do list, identify three specific things from your current life that you’d deeply miss if they were suddenly gone. This simple exercise shifts your brain from scarcity thinking to abundance recognition.

Remember that your “now” was once someone else’s “better” that they longed for. The job, relationship, or home you take for granted might be exactly what someone else is wishing for today.

True fulfillment comes not from reaching a destination but from finding meaning in the journey itself. The present moment is the only one we truly possess – yesterday is gone, tomorrow isn’t guaranteed, but now is your life happening in real time.

What parts of your “now” might you be overlooking while focused on your “better”?