Live Life Happy

The Right Love Will Strengthen You, Scare You, and Give You

May 20, 2018 By LLH Leave a Comment

“The right love will strengthen you, scare you, and give you the courage to share what your heart has survived.” – Unknown

The Kind of Love That Cracks You Open (In the Best Possible Way)

Think about it. The right love isn’t about someone completing you – you’re already whole! Instead, it’s about having someone walk alongside you, offering unwavering support as you become an even stronger version of yourself. This love is a sturdy anchor in the storm, a gentle hand pushing you forward when you feel stuck. It sees your potential, even when you doubt it yourself, and it cheers you on relentlessly.

This kind of love doesn’t coddle you. It challenges you, not to tear you down, but to help you grow. It believes in your resilience and reminds you of your own power when you forget. It’s the kind of love that makes you feel like you can take on the world, not because you have someone fighting your battles for you, but because you know they’ve got your back, no matter what.

Then Comes the Scary Part.

Now, this might sound counterintuitive. Love is supposed to be all warm fuzzies, right? Well, the right love will absolutely bring those, but it will also scare you a little. Why? Because it demands vulnerability. It asks you to drop the walls you’ve built so carefully, brick by painful brick.

Letting someone truly see you – your flaws, your insecurities, the messy parts of your past – can be terrifying. You risk judgment, rejection, the possibility of getting hurt again. But this fear is a sign. It means this love is different. It’s reaching the parts of you that have been guarded for a reason. It’s asking you to trust in a way you might not have before.

This fear isn’t about the person you’re with being scary. It’s about the bravery it takes to truly connect, to be seen, and to let someone in that deeply. It’s the fear of the unknown, the fear of the depth of emotion this connection holds.

And Finally: The Courage to Share Your Survival.

When you are held in a love that strengthens and, yes, even gently scares you into vulnerability, something incredible shifts within you. You start to heal.

The right love creates a safe space, a non-judgmental haven where you feel empowered to finally speak the unspoken. The scars on your heart, the battles you’ve fought and survived – these stories, once hidden in the shadows, begin to feel less like burdens and more like testaments to your strength.

This love doesn’t demand you spill your entire history on the first date. Instead, it cultivates an environment of trust and understanding, where you feel seen and accepted for all that you are, including the experiences that have shaped you. And in that acceptance, a powerful courage is born – the courage to share your truth, not for pity or validation, but because you know your story has value, and in sharing it, you might just help someone else feel less alone.

Don’t settle for a love that keeps you stagnant or reinforces your insecurities. Seek the love that challenges you to grow, that asks you to be brave enough to be vulnerable, and that ultimately empowers you to share the incredible story of your resilience.

This kind of love might not always be easy, but it will always be worth it. It’s the love that helps you not just survive, but truly thrive.

Keep shining, keep loving, and keep trusting the journey.

The Bad News Is…You Are the Problem

May 7, 2018 By LLH Leave a Comment

“The bad news is you’re the problem. The great news is you’re also the solution.” – Dave Ramsey

Look in the Mirror: Why You Are the Wild Card

I know what some of you might be thinking. “Ugh, another thing telling me it’s my fault?” Hold on a second, this isn’t about blame; it’s about agency. It’s about recognizing the incredible, sometimes daunting, power you hold in shaping your own life.

Think about it. How many times have you felt stuck? Maybe you’re in a job that drains you, a relationship that feels lukewarm, or you’re constantly battling that inner critic. It’s easy to point fingers, isn’t it? The economy, your boss, your partner, society’s expectations… they all play a role, sure.

But deep down, aren’t there whispers of your own choices in the mix? Maybe you’ve stayed in that comfortable but unfulfilling job out of fear of the unknown. Perhaps you haven’t communicated your needs clearly in your relationship. Or maybe, just maybe, you’ve allowed that inner critic to hold the microphone for far too long.

That’s the “bad news” part. It can be uncomfortable to acknowledge that our own patterns, fears, and limiting beliefs can be significant roadblocks. It requires a level of radical self-awareness that isn’t always easy to embrace.

But here’s where the magic happens, the shimmering, empowering truth that makes this quote a beacon of hope: you’re also the solution.

Because if you are contributing to the situation, consciously or unconsciously, then you also possess the power to change it. This isn’t about overnight transformations or magically waving a wand. It’s about the slow, steady work of self-reflection, conscious choices, and courageous action.

If you’re just starting to carve your path. This quote is a powerful reminder that your early choices – about your career, your relationships, your self-care – are laying the foundation for your future. If something feels off, don’t be afraid to look inward and adjust your course. You have the energy and the flexibility to experiment and redefine what success looks like for you.

If you’re juggling careers, families, and maybe even a mortgage. Life can feel overwhelming, and it’s easy to feel like you’re just reacting to external pressures. This quote is an invitation to reclaim your power. What small, consistent changes can you make to create more balance, more joy, more alignment with your values? You have the wisdom of experience to guide your decisions.

For the Flourishers: You’ve likely weathered some storms and learned invaluable lessons. This quote can be a potent reminder that it’s never too late to rewrite your narrative. Are there old patterns holding you back? Dreams you’ve put on hold? You have the strength and resilience to dismantle what no longer serves you and embrace new possibilities.

For the Sages: You’ve accumulated a lifetime of wisdom. This quote can be a gentle nudge to continue evolving and growing. What new adventures await? What inner work still calls to you? You have the perspective and the self-awareness to make intentional choices that bring you deeper fulfillment.

No matter your age, embracing this quote isn’t about self-blame. It’s about self-ownership. It’s about recognizing your inherent capacity for change and growth. It’s about stepping into your power as the author of your own story.

So, the next time you feel stuck, frustrated, or like life is happening to you, take a deep breath and look in the mirror. Acknowledge the part you play, not with judgment, but with curiosity. Because within that acknowledgment lies the incredible, liberating truth: you hold the key to unlocking your own solutions.

You are the wild card, the force of nature, the agent of change in your own beautiful, complex life. Embrace it, own it, and watch yourself bloom.

Now, tell me, what’s one small step you can take today to move towards the solution you desire? Share in the comments below – let’s support each other on this journey of self-discovery and empowerment.

The Longer You Hang in There, the Greater the Chance That Something Will

April 13, 2018 By LLH 1 Comment

“The longer you hang in there, the greater the chance that something will happen in your favor.” – Jack Canfield

The Slow Burn and the Sweet Victory: Why Showing Up Matters

Let’s talk about something that often feels like a whisper in the whirlwind of our busy lives, something that can be easily dismissed when the going gets tough: persistence.

I stumbled across a quote recently that resonated deep within my soul: “The longer you hang in there, the greater the chance that something will happen in your favor.”

Now, I know what some of you might be thinking. “Easy for you to say!” or “I’ve been ‘hanging in there’ for ages, and nothing’s changed!” And trust me, I get it. Life is full of challenges, it sets up roadblocks, and sometimes feels like it’s actively working against our dreams.

It’s Not Just About Grit, It’s About Growth:

“Hanging in there” isn’t just about gritting your teeth and stubbornly pushing forward. It’s about something far more profound: growth through the journey.

Think about it. Every challenge you face, every obstacle you overcome, every moment you choose to not give up – it shapes you. It hones your skills, deepens your resilience, and clarifies your vision. The person who started that passion project three years ago, facing rejection after rejection, is a far more seasoned and knowledgeable entrepreneur today. The person who’s been navigating a difficult family situation for years has developed an inner strength and empathy they might not have otherwise known.

The Universe Loves a Consistent Effort:

I’m not suggesting the universe is some magical vending machine that dispenses favors based on how long you wait. But there’s a powerful truth in consistency. When you consistently show up for your goals, your passions, and even for yourself during tough times, you’re sending a message. You’re saying, “This matters to me. I’m not going anywhere.”

This consistent effort creates momentum. It opens doors you didn’t even know existed. It attracts opportunities and connections that align with your dedication. Think of the artist who keeps painting, even when sales are slow – eventually, their unique voice will find its audience. Think of the woman who keeps applying for her dream job, refining her skills with each attempt – eventually, the right opportunity will click.

Beyond the Big Breakthrough: The Subtle Shifts:

“Something happening in your favor” doesn’t always mean a dramatic, life-altering event. Often, it’s in the subtle shifts. It’s the small victory, the unexpected compliment, the moment of clarity that guides your next step. These seemingly insignificant moments are the breadcrumbs that lead to bigger breakthroughs down the line. Your persistence creates the space for these subtle favors to appear.

Honoring Your Inner Strength:

Let’s be honest, as adults, we often carry a multitude of responsibilities. We juggle careers, families, relationships, and the ever-present “shoulds” of society. Choosing to “hang in there” amidst all of this is an act of profound self-respect and inner strength. It’s a testament to your resilience and your unwavering belief in something bigger than the present challenge.

So, how do we truly “hang in there” with grace and intention?

Embrace the Detours: Life rarely follows a straight line. Expect bumps in the road and view them as learning opportunities, not signs to give up.
Celebrate Small Wins: Acknowledge and appreciate every step forward, no matter how small. This fuels your motivation and reminds you of your progress.
Build Your Support System: Surround yourself with people who lift you up, believe in your dreams, and offer encouragement during tough times.
Practice Self-Care: You can’t pour from an empty cup. Prioritize your well-being so you have the energy and resilience to keep going.
Revisit Your “Why”: When the going gets tough, reconnect with the initial passion and purpose that fueled your journey.

My dear friends, the journey isn’t always easy, but it’s almost always worth it. The longer you stay committed, the more you learn, the more you grow, and the greater the likelihood that the universe will conspire in your favor, in ways you might not even imagine right now.

So, take a deep breath, acknowledge your strength, and keep showing up. Your time is coming. Your efforts are not in vain. The slow burn often leads to the sweetest victory.

Life Is Too Short to Spend Time with People Who Drag You Down

April 13, 2018 By LLH Leave a Comment

“Life is too short to spend time with people who drag you down and prevent you from being happy.”

Cut the Cables: Why Trimming Your Inner Circle is an Act of Self-Love

We’re all on this incredible journey called life. We’re striving, growing, learning, and hopefully, inching closer to that sweet spot of genuine happiness. But sometimes, despite our best efforts, we feel… stuck. Weighted down. Like we’re wading through mud in hiking boots made of lead.

And often, the invisible anchors holding us back aren’t circumstances or failures – they’re people.

Today, I want to unpack a truth that, while seemingly simple, can be profoundly liberating: “Life is too short to spend time with people who drag you down and prevent you from being happy.”

Now, I know what some of you might be thinking. “That sounds harsh,” or “But what about family?” or “Isn’t it my responsibility to support them?” These are valid concerns, and navigating these relationships can be complex. But let’s peel back the layers and get to the heart of this powerful statement.

Think of your energy as a precious resource, like a wellspring. Some people you encounter are like sunshine, replenishing your well, making you feel vibrant and inspired. They celebrate your wins, offer a listening ear without judgment, and leave you feeling energized and hopeful.

Then there are others. They’re the leaky buckets. Every interaction leaves you feeling drained, criticized, or questioning your worth. They might be consistently negative, thrive on drama, or subtly (or not so subtly) undermine your dreams. They are the energy vampires, slowly siphoning away your joy and hindering your progress.

Why is this such a critical piece of wisdom? Because time is the one commodity we can never get back. Every moment you spend with someone who diminishes you is a moment stolen from your own happiness and growth. It’s a moment you could have spent nurturing relationships that uplift you, pursuing passions that ignite your soul, or simply enjoying the peace and quiet of your own company.

This isn’t about being selfish or abandoning people in genuine need. It’s about recognizing the difference between offering support and being consistently dragged into negativity or unhealthy patterns. It’s about setting healthy boundaries and prioritizing your own well-being.

So, how do you put this wisdom into practice? It’s not always easy, but here are some gentle steps:

Become Aware: Start paying attention to how you feel after interacting with different people in your life. Do you feel energized or depleted? Inspired or discouraged? This awareness is the first crucial step.
Identify the Patterns: Are there specific individuals who consistently leave you feeling negative or anxious? Do these interactions follow predictable patterns of criticism, complaining, or negativity?
Set Boundaries: This is where the real work begins. It might mean limiting contact, having honest (albeit difficult) conversations about how their behavior affects you, or learning to say “no” to requests that feel draining.
Focus on Nurturing Positive Connections: Actively invest your time and energy in the relationships that bring you joy and support your growth. These are the people who celebrate your successes and offer comfort during tough times.
Don’t Feel Guilty for Prioritizing Yourself: Your well-being is not a luxury; it’s a necessity. Creating space for happiness is an act of self-love, not selfishness.

This isn’t about creating a perfect, drama-free life. Challenges will always arise. But you deserve to navigate those challenges surrounded by people who lift you up, not weigh you down.

Life is a precious gift. Don’t let anyone dim your light. Choose to spend your time with the people who see your brilliance and help you shine even brighter. Cut the cables that are holding you back, and watch how much lighter and freer you feel.

You deserve happiness. Choose it. Choose you.

Worrying About Things in the Future Doesn’t Stop Them from Happening

April 12, 2018 By LLH 1 Comment

“Worrying about things in the future doesn’t stop them from happening. It just takes away from your happiness today.” – Jack Canfield

The Art of Letting Go: Finding Peace in the Present

This is a wake-up call for anyone caught in the endless loop of “what ifs.” We’ve all been there—lying awake at night, imagining worst-case scenarios, or obsessively planning for things we can’t fully control. But here’s the truth: no amount of mental rehearsal can rewrite tomorrow. Instead, it dims the light of today. So, how do we break free from this cycle and reclaim our happiness?

The Trap of Future-Tripping

Picture this: You’re enjoying your morning coffee, the sun is shining, and for a brief moment, everything feels right. Then, out of nowhere, your mind drifts to that big presentation next week, the bills piling up, or a vague fear about something you can’t even name. Suddenly, that warm coffee tastes bitter, and the sunshine fades behind a cloud of dread. Sound familiar?

Worrying is like a thief—it sneaks in and robs you of the present without delivering any real solutions. We often forget that the future is a moving target. No matter how much we stress, we can’t stop time from marching forward or events from unfolding. What we can control is where we place our attention right now.

The Science Behind the Struggle

There’s a reason worry feels so sticky. Our brains are wired to anticipate danger—it’s a survival instinct from our cave-dwelling days. Back then, obsessing over a rustling bush might’ve saved us from a saber-toothed cat. But today? That same instinct has us sweating over a cryptic email from our boss or a rainy forecast for the weekend. The problem is, our modern lives rarely involve life-or-death stakes, yet our minds still treat every uncertainty like a predator in the shadows.

Studies show that chronic worrying doesn’t just steal joy—it impacts our health, too. Stress hormones like cortisol spike, sleep suffers, and our ability to focus crumbles. In short, worrying doesn’t prepare us for the future; it weakens us for the present.

The Wisdom of Release

So, if worrying doesn’t work, what does? Letting go. Not in a passive, “I give up” way, but in an active choice to trust that we’ll handle whatever comes when it arrives. This isn’t about ignoring reality—it’s about refusing to let the unknown dictate your mood today.

Think of it like this: Imagine you’re carrying a heavy backpack filled with rocks labeled “What if I fail?” “What if they don’t like me?” “What if it all goes wrong?” Now, imagine setting that pack down, just for today. You’re not pretending the rocks don’t exist—you’re just choosing not to carry them until you have to. How much lighter would you feel?

Practical Steps to Live This Truth

Ready to put this wisdom into action? Here are some unique, doable ways to stop worrying about the future and start living today:

Create a “Worry Window”
Give yourself permission to worry—but only for 10 minutes a day. Set a timer, jot down every anxious thought, and when the timer dings, close the window. Tell yourself, “I’ll deal with this tomorrow if it’s still relevant.” Most of the time, it won’t be.
Anchor Yourself with Your Senses
When your mind spirals into the future, snap back to now. Feel the texture of your shirt, listen to the hum of the world around you, or taste the sharpness of a mint. These tiny acts ground you in the moment, where worry has less power.
Ask the Magic Question
Next time you catch yourself fretting, pause and ask: “Can I solve this right now?” If the answer’s yes, take action. If it’s no, let it go. This question cuts through the noise and keeps you focused on what’s actionable.
Celebrate the Small Wins
Worry loves to overshadow joy. Fight back by noticing what’s good today—a kind word from a friend, a task checked off your list, or even the fact that you’re still standing. These moments are your armor against tomorrow’s shadows.

The Gift of Today

Here’s the beautiful paradox: when we stop letting worry hijack our present, we’re better equipped for whatever the future brings. A mind at peace is sharper, more creative, and more resilient than one tangled in anxiety. By embracing this wisdom, we’re not just improving our lives—we’re rewriting how we experience them.

So, take a deep breath. Look around. This moment, right here, is yours. Don’t let the ghost of tomorrow steal it. Happiness isn’t waiting for you at some distant finish line—it’s already here, if you’re brave enough to claim it. What will you do with your today?

My Therapist Taught Me to Interrupt My Anxious Thinking with Thoughts

April 12, 2018 By LLH 1 Comment

My therapist taught me to interrupt my anxious thinking with thoughts like:

“What if things work out” and “What if all my hard work pays off?”

So, I’m passing that onto you wherever you are, whatever you’re leaving, or whomever you’re becoming.

– Sinclair P. Ceasar III

When the anxious thoughts start their relentless march, meet them with a gentle, yet firm, interruption. Replace the “what ifs” of doom with the “what ifs” of possibility.

Think about it. Our brains are incredibly powerful, but they can also get stuck in ruts. When anxiety takes hold, it often fixates on the negative “what ifs”:

“What if I fail this presentation?”
“What if they don’t like me?”
“What if something terrible happens?”

These questions, while stemming from a place of wanting to protect ourselves, actually fuel the very anxiety they’re trying to prevent. They paint a picture of potential disaster, keeping us in a state of fear and unease.

The magic lies in consciously choosing to plant different seeds in the fertile ground of your mind. Here are two incredibly potent seeds:

1. “What if things work out?”

This simple question is a revolutionary act against the tyranny of negative prediction. It doesn’t deny the possibility of challenges, but it bravely opens the door to a different outcome. It invites a sense of hope and possibility into the equation.

Consider this: you’re stressing about a job interview. Your usual “what if” might be, “What if I stumble over my words and they think I’m unqualified?” Now, try interrupting that with: “What if things work out? What if I connect with the interviewer? What if my skills and experience shine through and I’m exactly what they’re looking for?”

Notice the shift? The first thought tightens your chest and fills you with dread. The second offers a glimmer of optimism, a sense that maybe, just maybe, things could go well.

2. “What if all my hard work pays off?”

This one is a powerful antidote to feelings of futility and discouragement. When you’re pouring your energy into a project, a relationship, or a personal goal, it’s easy for doubt to creep in. You might think, “What if all this effort is for nothing?”

But what if you countered that with: “What if all my hard work pays off? What if this late-night studying leads to that amazing grade? What if this effort I’m putting into my relationship deepens our connection and brings us closer? What if this dedication to my health finally brings me the energy and vitality I desire?”

This “what if” acknowledges your effort and dares to envision a positive return on your investment. It reinforces your commitment and fuels your motivation.

Here’s the unique wisdom I want to add to this powerful technique:

Don’t just say it, feel it: When you ask yourself these “what if” questions, don’t just let the words float by. Take a moment to truly feel the possibility. Imagine what it would feel like for things to work out. Visualize the satisfaction of your hard work bearing fruit. Engaging your emotions makes these thoughts more impactful.
Be patient and persistent: Rewiring your brain takes time and consistent effort. Don’t get discouraged if the anxious thoughts still pop up. Just gently guide your mind back to the “what ifs” of hope, again and again. Think of it like training a muscle – the more you practice, the stronger it gets.
Embrace the uncertainty: Life is inherently uncertain. The anxious mind tries to eliminate this uncertainty by fixating on negative possibilities. The “what if” of hope doesn’t promise a guaranteed positive outcome, but it acknowledges that positive outcomes are just as possible as negative ones. It encourages you to embrace the unknown with a slightly more open heart.
Notice the ripple effect: As you consistently interrupt your anxious thoughts with these hopeful alternatives, you’ll start to notice a subtle but significant shift in your overall mood and perspective. You might feel a little lighter, a little more optimistic, and a little more empowered to face challenges.

So, the next time that familiar wave of anxiety washes over you, remember these powerful “what ifs.” Plant those seeds of hope and possibility in the garden of your mind. You might be surprised at the beautiful blooms that begin to emerge.

If You Listen Closely to Your Intuition You Will Always Know What Is

April 9, 2018 By LLH 1 Comment

“If you listen closely to your intuition you will always know what is best for you, because what is best for you is what is true for you.” – Unknown

The Whispers Within: Unlocking Your Personal Truth

Ever feel like you’re navigating life with a slightly blurry map? You’re bombarded with advice – from well-meaning friends, self-proclaimed experts, and even that persistent little voice in your head that sometimes sounds suspiciously like your mother. It can be overwhelming, leaving you wondering which path to take, which decision is the “right” one.

Today, I want to share a truth so profound, so deeply ingrained within you, that it might just change the way you approach every choice you make. It’s this: By listening closely to your intuition, you will always know what is truly best for you.

Now, I know what some of you might be thinking. “Intuition? That gut feeling? Isn’t that just wishful thinking or maybe even indigestion?” And while a rumbling tummy might be telling you to grab a snack, your intuition is a far more sophisticated compass. It’s not about fleeting desires or impulsive urges. It’s about tapping into a deeper wisdom, a wellspring of knowing that resides within your very being.

Think of it like this: you are a unique masterpiece, intricately designed with your own set of values, dreams, and experiences. What resonates deeply within your soul, what sparks joy and a sense of alignment, is inherently “true” for you. And what is true for you, in its purest form, is what will ultimately lead you towards growth, fulfillment, and a life lived authentically.

The challenge, of course, lies in learning to truly listen. Our modern world is a cacophony of external noise. We’re constantly bombarded with information, expectations, and societal pressures that can drown out the gentle whispers of our inner voice. We’re taught to prioritize logic and reason, often dismissing those “gut feelings” as irrational or unreliable.

But your intuition speaks a language all its own. It communicates through subtle cues: a feeling of lightness or heaviness in your chest, a sudden flash of insight, an undeniable pull towards a certain person or opportunity, or a persistent unease in a seemingly positive situation. It’s not always loud and dramatic; often, it’s a quiet knowing, a gentle nudge in a specific direction.

So, how do we cultivate this inner listening? It’s a practice, a conscious effort to turn down the external volume and tune into the internal symphony. Here are a few ways to begin:

Create Stillness: In the hustle and bustle of daily life, carve out moments of quiet. This could be through meditation, a mindful walk in nature, or simply sitting in silence with your thoughts. These moments of stillness create the space for your intuition to be heard.
Pay Attention to Your Body: Your body is a powerful messenger of your intuition. Notice physical sensations that arise in response to different thoughts, situations, or people. Does a certain idea make your shoulders tense? Does another fill you with a sense of expansive energy? Learn to interpret these physical cues.
Reflect on Your Emotions: Your emotions are closely linked to your inner truth. Instead of dismissing negative emotions, try to understand what they might be signaling. Are you feeling anxious about a decision that seems logical on paper? Perhaps your intuition is sensing a misalignment.
Trust the Subtle Nudges: Don’t wait for a booming voice from the heavens. Your intuition often speaks in whispers. Learn to recognize and trust those subtle feelings, those fleeting thoughts that seem to come out of nowhere.
Experiment and Observe: Take small steps based on your intuitive nudges and observe the outcomes. Did that unexpected detour lead you to a valuable connection? Did trusting that “bad feeling” about a situation save you from heartache? Over time, you’ll build confidence in your inner guidance.
Differentiate Intuition from Fear: This is crucial. Fear often masquerades as intuition, but its voice is usually laced with anxiety and negativity. True intuition feels calm, clear, and often carries a sense of quiet certainty, even if the path ahead isn’t entirely clear.

Ultimately, embracing your intuition is about reclaiming your personal authority. It’s about recognizing that you hold the deepest wisdom about your own life within you. By learning to listen to that inner voice, you move away from blindly following external dictates and step into a life guided by your own unique truth.

What is “best” for someone else might be a detour for you. What society deems successful might leave you feeling empty. True fulfillment comes from aligning your life with what resonates deeply within your soul. And that, my friends, is the invaluable gift of your intuition.

So, take a deep breath. Tune in. Listen closely. The answers you seek are already within you, waiting to be heard.

I’m Perfectly Imperfect. Because If You’re Perfectly Imperfect

April 9, 2018 By LLH Leave a Comment

I’m perfectly imperfect.
Because if you’re perfectly imperfect,
You always have to work on yourself.
And if you work on yourself,
You don’t have time to talk about or
Worry about other people.
– Dag Aabye

The Beautiful Paradox of Being Perfectly Imperfect: Your Never-Ending Journey of Growth

We often chase this elusive idea of “perfection,” a flawless state where every hair is in place, every decision is brilliant, and life unfolds without a single hiccup. But let’s be honest, how often does that actually happen?

The truth, my friends, is that perfection in its absolute sense is a myth. It’s a shimmering mirage that keeps us running on a treadmill of self-criticism and comparison. But what if we flipped the script? What if we embraced the beautiful reality that we are all, inherently, perfectly imperfect?

Think about it. The very essence of being human lies in our capacity for growth, our ability to learn and evolve. If we were already “perfect,” where would the journey be? Where would the excitement of discovery and the satisfaction of progress come from?

This is where the magic of being perfectly imperfect truly shines. When you accept this fundamental truth about yourself, a profound shift occurs. You realize that the work is never truly “done.” There’s always a new layer to uncover, a new skill to learn, a new perspective to embrace. And this, my friends, is not a burden – it’s an incredible opportunity.

Because when you’re engaged in the ongoing, fascinating project of working on yourself, something truly wonderful happens: you simply run out of time and energy to dwell on the lives of others.

The Never-Ending Project of You:

Imagine your life as a magnificent garden. It’s already beautiful in its own unique way, with its own distinct landscape and flora. But a garden needs tending. It needs weeding, watering, pruning, and the occasional planting of new seeds. Similarly, you are a masterpiece in progress. Working on yourself isn’t about fixing something that’s “broken”; it’s about cultivating the incredible potential that already exists within you.

This could look like:

Developing new skills: Maybe you’ve always wanted to learn a new language, pick up an instrument, or master a specific craft.
Cultivating emotional intelligence: Understanding your own emotions and learning to navigate them effectively, as well as developing empathy for others.
Strengthening your mindset: Challenging limiting beliefs, practicing gratitude, and fostering a more positive outlook.
Prioritizing your well-being: Focusing on your physical health, mental clarity, and spiritual connection.
Exploring your passions: Delving deeper into the things that truly ignite your soul and bring you joy.

Each of these endeavors requires your time, your focus, and your energy. They are engaging, rewarding, and deeply personal.

The Natural Byproduct: Less Time for Others’ Narratives:

Now, consider the energy we often waste on talking about or worrying about other people. This can manifest in countless ways:

Gossiping about their choices and perceived flaws.
Comparing our lives to their highlight reels on social media.
Getting caught up in their drama and conflicts.
Judging their paths and offering unsolicited opinions.

These activities are often fueled by insecurity, boredom, or a misguided sense of superiority. But they are also incredibly draining. They pull your focus away from your own journey and tether you to narratives that ultimately have little impact on your personal growth.

When you are deeply invested in your own self-improvement, your mental and emotional bandwidth naturally shifts. You become so engrossed in your own “garden” that you have less inclination and less energy to peer over the fence at your neighbor’s.

The Unique Wisdom:

The profound wisdom here lies in recognizing that self-focus is not selfishness. In fact, it’s quite the opposite. When you are actively working on becoming the best version of yourself, you radiate positivity, resilience, and understanding. This, in turn, has a positive ripple effect on the people around you. You become a better friend, partner, family member, and community member, not through direct intervention in their lives, but through the strength and clarity you cultivate within yourself.

Embracing your perfectly imperfect nature is liberating. It releases you from the pressure of unattainable ideals and empowers you to embrace the ongoing adventure of self-discovery. It’s an invitation to become a lifelong learner of your own magnificent self.

My advice to you: let go of the pursuit of flawless perfection. Embrace the beautiful paradox of being perfectly imperfect. Dive into the rewarding work of self-cultivation. And watch as the need to talk about or worry about others gently fades away, replaced by the fulfilling journey of becoming the most vibrant and authentic version of you.

You are already whole, already worthy, and perfectly poised for a lifetime of growth. Embrace it. Own it. Thrive in it.