Live Life Happy

Sometimes the Most Effective Way to Dissolve Something

April 24, 2019 By Robert Tew Leave a Comment

“Sometimes the most effective way to dissolve something is to accept it.” – Elizabeth Hallowel

Now, I know what some of you might be thinking. “Accept it? If it’s bothering me, shouldn’t I fight it? Shouldn’t I try to change it?” That’s a natural reaction! Our brains are wired to fix problems, to push away things that make us uncomfortable. But sometimes, that very resistance, that constant pushing, is what keeps the problem alive and kicking.

Think of it like this: imagine you have a tangled knot in a piece of string. Your first instinct might be to yank at it, to try and force it apart. But what often happens? The knot just gets tighter, right? You might even make it worse.

Now, what if you tried something different? What if you took a deep breath and just looked at the knot? You might gently trace its loops with your fingers, understanding how it’s formed. You might notice where the tension is greatest. In that moment of acceptance, of not fighting against it, you might actually find a loose thread that you can gently pull to start untangling the whole mess.

That’s kind of how it works with the stuff that bothers us in life – our worries, our frustrations, our painful memories, even difficult situations. When we constantly fight against them, when we tell ourselves “this shouldn’t be happening,” or “I can’t stand this feeling,” we actually give them more energy. We keep them front and center in our minds. It’s like constantly poking a bruise – it’s never going to heal if you keep irritating it.

Acceptance isn’t about liking something. It doesn’t mean you have to throw a party for your problems or pretend everything is sunshine and rainbows when it’s not. Acceptance is simply acknowledging what is. It’s recognizing the reality of the situation or the feeling without judgment or resistance.

Think about a rainy day. You could spend the whole day complaining about the rain, wishing it would go away, and feeling miserable. Or, you could accept that it’s raining. You might grab an umbrella, put on some cozy clothes, and maybe even enjoy the sound of the rain on the roof. The rain is still there, but your experience of it is different because you’re not fighting against it.

So, how does acceptance actually dissolve things?

It reduces the emotional charge: When you stop resisting a feeling or a situation, you take away its power to upset you. The constant internal battle stops, and you create space for calmer emotions.
It allows for clearer thinking: When you’re not caught up in the struggle against something, your mind becomes clearer. You can see the situation more objectively and potentially find solutions you couldn’t see before.
It frees up energy: All that energy you were using to fight and resist can now be used for something more constructive, like finding ways to cope or make positive changes where you can.
It can lead to actual change: Paradoxically, sometimes accepting a situation fully is the first step towards actually changing it. When you’re not in denial or constantly pushing back, you can see the reality of what needs to be done more clearly.

Now, this isn’t always easy. Accepting really difficult things like loss, pain, or unfairness takes time and a lot of courage. It’s a process, not a switch you can just flip. Be patient with yourself. Start small. Maybe there’s a minor annoyance in your life that you can try accepting today. Maybe it’s a long line at the grocery store, or a slightly messy room. Instead of getting frustrated, just acknowledge it: “Okay, this is how it is right now.” See if you notice a little bit of that internal tension ease.

The more you practice acceptance, the more you’ll realize its power. It’s not about giving up; it’s about strategically letting go of the resistance so that you can move forward with more clarity, peace, and ultimately, more effective action.

So, take a moment today to think about something you might be struggling with. Could there be a way to soften your resistance, to simply accept it for what it is in this moment? You might be surprised at how that simple act can begin to dissolve its hold on you. You’ve got this.

If You Love Someone, You Never Seek to Break Them

April 24, 2019 By Robert Tew Leave a Comment

“If you love someone, you never seek to break them. Love mends, forgives, restores, protects, encourages, supports, inspires, comforts.” – Mysterious Traveler

Think about that for a moment. Really let it sink in.

Sometimes, in the messy reality of life, especially when emotions run high, we might say or do things that chip away at the people we care about. We might criticize harshly, hold onto grudges, or even try to control them. But true love? True love operates on a completely different level. It’s about building up, not tearing down.

Let’s break down each powerful action of love mentioned in this quote:

Love Mends: Imagine a broken vase. You wouldn’t keep smashing the pieces, would you? You’d carefully try to put them back together. Love is like that super glue for the heart and soul. When there are cracks or hurts, love gently works to heal them. It offers understanding and patience, helping to piece things back together stronger than before.

Love Forgives: We all make mistakes. We stumble, we say the wrong things, we let each other down. Forgiveness isn’t about saying what happened was okay. It’s about choosing to let go of the anger and resentment that can poison a relationship. Love understands that everyone is imperfect and offers a clean slate, allowing healing and growth to happen. Holding onto hurt is like carrying a heavy weight – forgiveness sets you both free.

Love Restores: Think of an old, worn-out piece of furniture. Restoration brings it back to its former glory, sometimes even making it better. Love has that same power. When things are damaged or have drifted apart, love actively works to bring back the good times, the connection, and the joy. It’s about putting in the effort to rebuild trust and intimacy.

Love Protects: This isn’t about being a bodyguard, although sometimes it can be! It’s more about safeguarding someone’s heart, their feelings, and their well-being. It means standing up for them when others are being unkind, keeping their secrets safe, and creating a sense of security where they feel valued and safe to be themselves.

Love Encourages: Life throws curveballs. We all face doubts and challenges. Love acts like a cheerleader, offering words of support and belief. It sees the potential in someone, even when they can’t see it themselves. Encouragement gives people the courage to try new things, overcome obstacles, and believe in their own abilities.

Love Supports: Think of a sturdy foundation for a building. Support is the unwavering presence that lets someone know they’re not alone. It’s being there through thick and thin, offering practical help, a listening ear, and a shoulder to lean on. It’s about showing up and letting them know you’ve got their back, no matter what.

Love Inspires: Love can spark something amazing within us. It can motivate us to be better versions of ourselves, to pursue our dreams, and to reach for the stars. When someone feels truly loved and believed in, it ignites a fire within them, pushing them to grow and achieve things they never thought possible.

Love Comforts: When life gets tough, when sadness hits, or when anxiety creeps in, love offers a safe harbor. It’s the warm hug, the gentle words, the quiet presence that soothes and reassures. Comfort is about letting someone know it’s okay to not be okay and offering a space where they can feel safe and understood.

Sometimes we must ask ourselves: Are our actions reflecting this kind of love? Are we building up the people we care about, or are we unintentionally chipping away at their spirit?

True love isn’t always easy. It requires patience, understanding, and a conscious effort to choose kindness over criticism. But the rewards are immeasurable. When we embrace this definition of love, we create relationships that are strong, resilient, and deeply fulfilling.

Let’s strive to be menders, forgivers, restorers, protectors, encouragers, supporters, inspirers, and comforters in the lives of those we hold dear. That, my friends, is the true power of love.

I Think That Some People Forget That Friendships

April 24, 2019 By Robert Tew Leave a Comment

“I think that some people forget that friendships and relationships are not a service that someone provides, it’s a two way street where both give and get.” – Ignoble Savage

Now, what does that really mean for you and me? Let’s break it down in a way that makes sense, because this idea can seriously change how you see the people in your life.

Think about a service you use, like getting your car washed or ordering food. You pay someone, and they do something for you. It’s a one-way thing, right? You’re the customer, they’re providing the service.

But friendships and relationships? They’re totally different. They aren’t like ordering a pizza where you just expect it to show up. They’re more like a garden. If you want beautiful flowers to bloom, you can’t just sit back and watch. You need to plant seeds, water them, give them sunlight, and maybe even pull out some weeds. The garden gives back beauty and maybe even some delicious veggies, but only if you put in the effort.

That’s what it’s all about. Your friends, your family, your romantic partners – they aren’t there just to serve you. They’re not vending machines where you put in your needs and expect them to pop out happiness, support, or attention.

It’s a “two-way street.” Imagine a road with cars going in both directions. For things to flow smoothly, everyone needs to participate. You can’t just drive your car down the middle expecting everyone else to get out of your way. You need to give way, follow the rules, and be mindful of the other drivers.

In your relationships, this means:

It’s not just about what you need. It’s also about what the other person needs. Do they need a listening ear? Do they need help with something? Do they just need to know you’re thinking of them?
You have to put in effort. Just like watering a plant, you need to invest time and energy into your relationships. This could be as simple as sending a text, making a phone call, or just being present when you’re together.
You have to be willing to give. Sometimes, you’ll be the one offering support, advice, or a helping hand. Other times, you’ll be the one receiving it. That’s the natural give and take of a healthy connection.
It’s not always 50/50 at every moment. Life happens. Sometimes one person might need more support than the other. But over time, the effort and care should feel relatively balanced. If it consistently feels like you’re the only one putting in the work, that’s a sign something might be off.

Think about your own friendships and relationships. Are they feeling like a two-way street? Are you both giving and getting? Or does it sometimes feel like you’re the only one doing the driving?

This isn’t about keeping score, but it is about recognizing that healthy connections thrive on mutual effort and care. When both people are invested in the relationship, it becomes stronger, more fulfilling, and a real source of joy and support in your life.

So, take a moment to reflect. How can you be a better participant on the “two-way street” of your important relationships? What can you give today to nurture those connections? It might be a small gesture, but it can make a world of difference.

Keep growing, keep connecting, and remember – healthy relationships are built together.

Making the People You Love Smile

July 15, 2018 By Robert Tew Leave a Comment

“Making the people you love smile is everything.”

Let’s dive into this beautiful gem. At its core, it’s all about the power of bringing joy to those who matter most to you—your family, your friends, the people who light up your world. It’s saying that one of the greatest things you can do in life is spark happiness in their hearts. Think about it: when you see someone you care about grin because of something you said or did, doesn’t that feel like a win? It’s like hitting the jackpot of good vibes.

Now, why does this matter so much? Well, life can be tough—school stress, work drama, or just those random bad days that sneak up on you. But when you make someone you love smile, it’s like you’re tossing a lifeboat into their stormy sea. That smile doesn’t just lift their mood; it reminds them they’re not alone. You’re showing them you care, that they’re worth your effort. And here’s the cool part: it’s not just about them. When they smile, you feel it too—like a warm glow inside. It’s a two-for-one deal on happiness.

Let’s break it down even more. “The people you love” could be your parents, your siblings, your best friend, or even a favorite teacher or neighbor who’s basically family. These are the folks you’d do anything for. And “making them smile” doesn’t have to be some big, fancy thing. It could be cracking a silly joke, helping with something they’re stuck on, or just listening when they need to vent. Small stuff can mean everything to someone who’s having a rough time.

And that last word—“everything”—it’s the big punch. It’s saying this isn’t just a nice bonus in life; it’s the main event. More important than chasing grades, money, or likes on your posts. Why? Because at the end of the day, what sticks with you isn’t the stuff you own or the trophies you win—it’s the moments you share with the people who make your heart full. When you make them smile, you’re building memories that last, and you’re reminding yourself what really counts.

So, next time you’re with someone you love, think: How can I get that smile going? Maybe it’s a goofy dance, a kind word, or just being there. It’s not about being perfect—it’s about showing up and spreading a little light. Because in a world that’s sometimes dark and messy, making the people you love smile? That’s the real magic. That’s everything.

Don’t Be Afraid to Lose People. Be Afraid of Losing Yourself…

June 27, 2018 By Robert Tew 1 Comment

“Don’t be afraid to lose people. Be afraid of losing yourself by trying to please everyone around you.” – Author Unknown

This one hits hard because it’s all about figuring out what’s really worth worrying about in life. It’s telling you that holding onto every single person isn’t the goal—keeping the real you alive is what matters most. Let’s break it down…

Here’s the deal: not everyone is meant to stick around forever. People grow, change, or sometimes just drift away—and that’s okay. Maybe a friend starts acting shady, or someone keeps dragging you down. Letting them go doesn’t mean you’re cold; it means you’re brave enough to say, “This isn’t working for me.” The fear of losing them shouldn’t trap you into pretending everything’s fine when it’s not.

Picture this: you’re bending over backwards to make everyone happy. You say “yes” when you mean “no,” you hide your real opinions, or you act like someone you’re not just to fit in. Sound exhausting? It is. And the scariest part? You might wake up one day and realize you don’t even know who you are anymore. You’ve spent so much time being what others want that the real you—the one with your own dreams, quirks, and fire—has faded away.

Think about it like this: if you’re always trying to please your squad, your parents, your crush, your teachers, whoever—you’re basically juggling a million different versions of yourself. One slip, and it all crashes. That’s not living; that’s performing. And sure, it might keep people around for a while, but at what cost? If they only like the fake you, are they even worth keeping?

Here’s the truth: you can’t make everyone happy. Someone’s always going to disagree, judge, or walk away—no matter how hard you try. So why waste your energy chasing that impossible dream? Instead, focus on what keeps you grounded. What makes you laugh? What gets you fired up? That’s the stuff worth protecting. Losing a few people who can’t handle the real you is way less scary than losing the spark that makes you, well, you.

So, next time you’re stressing about pleasing someone, flip the script. Ask yourself: Am I still me in this moment? If the answer’s no, maybe it’s time to let go—not of them, but of the pressure to be their version of perfect. Because at the end of the day, the person you’ve got to live with is you. Don’t lose that. That’s the real thing to fear.

Always Look Both Ways Before Crossing

June 24, 2018 By Robert Tew Leave a Comment

“Always look both ways before crossing a woman.” – Author Unknown

Picture crossing a street. You look left, right, then left again—why? Because you don’t want to get blindsided by a car you didn’t see coming. Now swap “street” for “woman”. Be careful when you’re dealing with someone—especially a woman—who might have more going on than you realize. It’s not about being scared; it’s about being smart. Women, like anyone, can surprise you—with their strength, their feelings, or even their temper if you step on the wrong toe. So, “looking both ways” means pausing to think before you act or speak. Check the situation. What’s she feeling? What’s the vibe? Don’t just barrel through and hope for the best.

This isn’t about women being tricky or dangerous—it’s about respect. People are complicated, and rushing in without paying attention can get you in hot water. Maybe she’s had a rough day, or maybe she’s not in the mood for your usual sarcasm. If you “cross” her—say something dumb or push her buttons—without checking first, you might get a reaction you weren’t ready for. It’s like stepping into traffic without looking: you’re asking for trouble.

But let’s flip it too—it’s not just about avoiding a mess. It’s about building better connections. When you take a second to really see her, to understand where she’s at, you’re showing you care. That’s the kind of move that turns a quick chat into something real. So, “look both ways” is a reminder: slow down, pay attention, and don’t assume you’ve got it all figured out. Life’s too short for dumb misunderstandings.

If It Made You Smile… It Was Worth

June 23, 2018 By Robert Tew Leave a Comment

“If it made you smile… it was worth it.”

Think about it. Life can get… well, heavy. We’re juggling work, school, family, bills, and a million other things that can sometimes feel like they’re weighing us down. We get caught up in the to-do lists, the deadlines, the things we should be doing. And sometimes, in all that hustle, we forget about the simple joy of a genuine smile.

This is a gentle reminder to pay attention to those moments. It’s about recognizing the things that bring a little light into our day, even if they seem small or insignificant to others.

What makes your heart do a little happy dance? What brings a genuine curve to your lips? It could be anything!

Maybe it’s the smell of freshly brewed coffee in the morning.
Perhaps it’s a silly joke your friend told you.
Maybe it’s watching a cute animal video online.
It could be the feeling of the sun on your face.
Or maybe it’s finally finishing that chapter in your favorite book.

These moments might seem fleeting, like little sparks in a long day. But they matter. They’re little doses of positivity that can actually make a big difference in how we feel overall.

“…it was worth it.”

This is where the real magic happens. This tells us that even if something didn’t result in a huge achievement, a massive paycheck, or widespread praise, it still had value because it brought you joy.

Think about times you might have hesitated to do something because it seemed “unproductive” or “a waste of time.” Maybe you spent an hour drawing, even though you’re not a professional artist. Maybe you watched a funny movie instead of doing chores. Maybe you took a detour on your walk just to admire a pretty flower.

Maybe it’s time for us to reconsider those moments? If they brought a smile to your face, they weren’t a waste at all. They were an investment in your well-being, a little boost of happiness that can actually fuel you to tackle those bigger tasks with more energy and a better attitude.

Why is this so important?

It combats negativity: Life throws curveballs. There will be days filled with stress and disappointment. Remembering the things that make you smile can be a powerful antidote to those negative feelings. It reminds you that there’s still good in the world and within your own experience.
It encourages self-care: Taking time for things that bring you joy is a form of self-care. It’s about nurturing your inner self and recognizing that your happiness matters.
It shifts your focus: Instead of constantly chasing external validation or material success, you should value internal experiences – the simple pleasure of a smile.
It makes life more enjoyable: Let’s be honest, life is meant to be lived! By paying attention to what makes you smile, you’re actively creating more moments of joy and making your journey a little brighter.

So, the next time you find yourself doing something that brings a genuine smile to your face, take a moment to acknowledge it. Don’t dismiss it as silly or unimportant. Embrace that feeling. Because in the grand scheme of things, those little moments of happiness? They’re absolutely, undeniably worth it.

What made you smile today? Take a moment to think about it. And then, go out there and find more reasons to smile tomorrow. Your happiness matters.

A Year from Now, What You’re Stressing About

June 22, 2018 By Robert Tew Leave a Comment

“A year from now, what you’re stressing about won’t even matter. Let it go.”

In the end, most worries aren’t worth your time because they won’t stick around long-term. Think ahead— if it won’t bug you in a year, don’t let it ruin your day now. Drop the stress and save your energy for what really counts.

Imagine you’re freaking out today—maybe it’s a bad grade, a fight with your best friend, or some drama online that’s got you twisted up. Your heart’s racing, your mind’s spinning, and it feels like the end of the world. Now fast-forward a year. Where are you? Probably chilling somewhere, laughing with friends, or stressing about something totally different. That thing that’s eating you up today? Chances are, you won’t even remember the details. That’s the point here: most of the stuff we lose sleep over doesn’t stick around long enough to deserve all that energy.

Think about last year. What had you stressed out back then? Maybe you bombed a test or got ghosted by someone you liked. Does it still keep you up at night? Probably not. Life moves fast, and the things that feel like giants today shrink down to nothing over time. So why waste your energy on something that’s just passing through? “Let it go” isn’t about ignoring problems—it’s about picking what’s worth your fight. If it’s not going to matter in 12 months, why let it own you now?

Real talk: stressing doesn’t fix stuff. It just makes you feel worse while the clock keeps ticking. Letting go doesn’t mean you don’t care—it means you’re smart enough to save your energy for what lasts. Picture it like cleaning out your backpack. You don’t keep carrying around old gum wrappers or broken pencils—toss ‘em and make room for what’s next. Same with worries. If it’s not going to shape your future, drop it and move on.

So, next time you’re spiraling, ask yourself: Will this matter a year from now? If the answer’s no—or even maybe—give yourself permission to shrug it off. Focus on what’s good right now: your favorite song, a dumb meme, or just kicking back with people who get you. Life’s too big to get stuck on stuff that’s too small to last.