Some Talk to You in Their Free Time and Some Free Their Time to Talk

“Some talk to you in their free time and some free their time to talk to you. Know the difference.”

This is about recognizing the value people place on you through their actions—specifically, how they choose to spend their time. Time is one of the most precious things we have, and how someone uses it can tell you a lot about where you stand in their life.

First, think about the people who “talk to you in their free time.” These are the ones who reach out when it’s convenient for them—when they’re bored, have a spare minute, or don’t have anything better going on. It’s not necessarily a bad thing, but it’s casual. You’re an option, not a priority. Maybe they text you while they’re waiting for their coffee or call you when their plans fall through. It’s low-effort, and it often feels that way. You might notice they’re not fully present—they’re distracted, or the conversation fizzles out when something else grabs their attention.

Now, contrast that with the people who “free their time to talk to you.” These are the ones who make a deliberate choice to carve out space for you. They’re not just squeezing you into a gap; they’re rearranging their day to connect with you. Maybe they skip a workout, push back a meeting, or turn down other invitations because they want to hear what’s on your mind. That’s effort. That’s intention. It shows you’re not just a backup plan—you’re someone who matters to them.

Why does this difference matter? Because it’s a clue to how much someone values you. We all get busy, sure, but people make time for what’s important to them. If you’re always on the back burner, waiting for someone to have a slow day, it can leave you feeling like an afterthought. On the flip side, when someone consistently goes out of their way to check in or listen, it builds trust and respect. You feel seen.

So, how do you “know the difference”? Pay attention. Look at patterns, not just one-off moments. Does this person only pop up when they need something or when they’re lonely? Or do they show up even when it’s inconvenient for them? Don’t overthink every interaction, but trust your gut. You’ll start to see who’s just filling dead air and who’s genuinely invested.

Here’s the takeaway: surround yourself with people who free their time for you—not all the time, because life’s not perfect—but enough that you know you’re a priority. And while you’re at it, ask yourself: Who am I making time for? Because this isn’t just about how others treat you—it’s about how you show up for the people you care about too. Relationships are a two-way street, and time is the currency we trade in. Spend it wisely.