“She was getting better, but then she remembered the things that tore her apart. Now, she’s back at the start.” – Author Unknown

Healing Isn’t Linear: Finding Your Way Forward When You Feel Like You’re Starting Over

Have you ever felt like you were finally making progress, only to be knocked back to square one? That’s exactly what this quote captures—”She was getting better, but then she remembered the things that tore her apart. Now, she’s back at the start.” It’s a powerful reflection of how healing often works in our lives. The truth is, healing isn’t a straight line. It’s more like a spiral staircase where sometimes you feel like you’re passing the same view again, even as you’re actually moving upward.

When those memories resurface—the ones that once broke you—it can feel like all your progress has vanished. You might find yourself experiencing the same overwhelming emotions, thinking the same painful thoughts, or falling back into behaviors you thought you’d moved beyond. This isn’t failure. It’s just part of the journey. Your brain is wired to protect you by remembering painful experiences, but sometimes this protective mechanism feels more like a punishment than a safeguard. Remember that being triggered into old pain doesn’t erase the strength you’ve developed or the insights you’ve gained along the way.

What matters most in these moments isn’t that you’ve been reminded of your pain, but how you respond when those memories surface. The first time around, you might not have had tools to process what hurt you. But now? Now you know more about yourself. You have perspective you didn’t have before. You might feel like you’re “back at the start,” but you’re actually starting from a different place—one with more wisdom, more compassion for yourself, and more awareness of what you need. You’re not the same person who first experienced that pain, even if the pain feels familiar.

So if you find yourself revisiting old wounds, be gentle with yourself. Talk to yourself as you would a dear friend who’s suffering. Acknowledge that it hurts, that healing takes time, and that setbacks are normal. Reach out for support instead of withdrawing. Practice grounding techniques that bring you back to the present moment rather than getting lost in the past. And most importantly, remind yourself that this moment doesn’t define your entire journey. You haven’t lost everything you’ve gained. This is just one more turn on the spiral staircase of healing—and with each turn, even when it feels like you’re going backwards, you’re actually moving closer to wholeness.