Funny Wedding Toast Quotes for a Brother

To my brother, who finally found someone who can put up with him.

Marriage is the only war where you sleep with the enemy.

I knew you would settle down eventually. I just did not know it would take this long.

Marriage: a workshop where husband works and wife shops.

Brother, you are getting an upgrade. She is way out of your league.

Behind every great man is a woman rolling her eyes.

Marriage is finding that special someone you want to annoy for the rest of your life.

To the bride and groom: may all your ups and downs be in the bedroom.

The greatest of all wonders is the love of a sibling who lets you give a wedding toast.

Welcome to the family. We are sorry in advance.

Marriage is the highest form of community theatre.

Brother, congrats. You finally won at life.

To the only woman who could put up with my brother. We salute you.

Marriage is one long conversation. Pace yourselves.

In the words of every wise older brother: do not screw this up.

To my brother: you are gaining a wife and losing the remote control.

Brother, I always knew you'd settle down. I just bet on it being later.

Cheers to the couple. May your love last longer than my speech.

To love, laughter, and happily ever after.

My brother and his bride: a love story that began with surviving each other.

To the bride: thank you for taking him off our hands.

A toast to the only one who can truly handle my brother.

Brother, love her like you love your dog. Forever and completely.

To my brother and his bride: may your love be as bottomless as my drink.

Marriage is finding someone who likes the same Netflix shows.

To my brother: now you have someone to share the bills with.

Cheers to a couple who proves love still wins.

Brother, may your love be the longest chapter of your life.

To the newlyweds. May happily ever after begin tonight.

Raise a glass to my brother and the woman who said yes anyway.