Mark Twain Funny Quotes About Human Nature

The two most important days in your life are the day you are born and the day you find out why.

Get your facts first, then you can distort them as you please.

If you tell the truth, you don't have to remember anything.

Kindness is the language which the deaf can hear and the blind can see.

The man who does not read has no advantage over the man who cannot read.

Whenever you find yourself on the side of the majority, it is time to reform.

Never argue with a fool. Onlookers may not be able to tell the difference.

Don't let schooling interfere with your education.

Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things that you didn't do than by the ones you did.

The secret of getting ahead is getting started.

Worry is interest paid before it is due.

It is better to keep your mouth closed and let people think you are a fool than to open it and remove all doubt.

Wrinkles should merely indicate where smiles have been.

Sing like no one is listening. Love like you've never been hurt. Dance like nobody's watching. Live like it's heaven on earth.

Travel is fatal to prejudice, bigotry, and narrow-mindedness.

The lack of money is the root of all evil.

I have never let my schooling interfere with my education.

Good friends, good books, and a sleepy conscience: this is the ideal life.

Why not go out on a limb? That's where the fruit is.

The reports of my death are greatly exaggerated.

It's not the size of the dog in the fight, it's the size of the fight in the dog.

A man cannot be comfortable without his own approval.

All you need in this life is ignorance and confidence, and then success is sure.

The fear of death follows from the fear of life. A man who lives fully is prepared to die at any time.

Courage is resistance to fear, mastery of fear, not absence of fear.

Action speaks louder than words but not nearly as often.

Do the right thing. It will gratify some people and astonish the rest.

The trouble ain't that there is too many fools, but that the lightning ain't distributed right.

Don't go around saying the world owes you a living. The world owes you nothing.

Truth is stranger than fiction, but it is because Fiction is obliged to stick to possibilities; Truth isn't.