A wise old man was sitting with a crowd of people who had come to him with their troubles. Before they could start, he told them a joke.
The whole room burst out laughing.
A few minutes later, he told them the exact same joke. A few people chuckled.
Then he told it a third time. Nobody laughed. A few people shifted in their seats and looked at each other.
The old man smiled.
"You can't laugh at the same joke again and again," he said. "So why do you keep crying over the same problem again and again?"
What this story teaches
This little story is often shared online with a famous name attached, but no one knows who first told it, and it doesn't matter. What matters is how true it feels.
- Worry repeats. The first time you think about a problem, you learn something. By the twentieth time, you are only rehearsing pain.
- Feeling something is not the same as replaying it. Let yourself feel it fully once. Then decide what, if anything, to do.
- Repetition wears out joy and sorrow alike. Use that. Give the problem less airtime and it loses some of its grip.
The moral in one sentence
If the same joke stops being funny, the same worry can stop being painful; stop retelling it.
Questions to sit with
- Which worry have you told yourself the most times this month?
- What is one action that would let you stop telling it?
When your thoughts won't quiet down, try our quotes for anxiety and calm.
